Don't know what you've got til its Gone.

The famous quote, is so true. 

Because you don't know what you already had until it's gone. 

You see it in front of you, you do nothing with it until it walks away. 

Then you start to feel the hurt, the pain, that not what it caused you, but what you caused yourself. 

Don't blame the person for walking out on you. Because it was you that pushed them away. 

Don't blame it on any one else, if you were the one putting them aside. 

Life isn't fair, but you only have one life to live. 

Live Laugh Love and also Learn. 

Hold on to what you already got. 

If it's the best thing you've had, DON'T LET GO.

Words from the Infamous Evol.

I Miss You.

So my father has been gone for, 3 Days now. It feels like it's been forever. 

I miss him, seriously. It's not home without him. 

So today, I had a hard time thinking about what I want to do after high school. 

Because the things I want to do is, not co-operating with my family, 

I don't know what I should do. 

I want to become a photographer, but at the same time, they say it won't support me. 

I want to become an interior designer, but I can't draw for nothing.

Right now, I have an inspiration for art. 

But, I don't think I can keep up with anything.

I have an urge to make a shirt, but I need a design, 

Ackk! Haha, A shirt with one of my characters but I can't put them on paper. 

Ha, My mind is creative but my hands aren't co-operating! 

I hate this, 

I'll just go and figure out my character...

ALOHA, 

RODLYNCHRAINA.

Judgmental Comments,

Have you ever, judged someone before knowing them? 

I have, I honestly didn't know what I was talking about.  

I'm not shame to admit it. And here's for the people who do this.. 

Get to know the person before you start judging because someone

truly proved me wrong about my thoughts. 

So I met a new friend this past week, and I used to think he was the 

type of guy like those immature people at our school. The ones who 

did drugs because they want to, the ones who skip school and think it's cool, 

the ones who don't give a f*ck what people think when they do stupid sh*t. 

I was wrong. He's chill, he's cool like that. He's so chill that I actually told him

things some of my other close people don't even know. Amazing how I can make 

close friends fast, pretty cool at the same time. But anyway back to the subject,,

JUDGING.  People are like cream puffs, on the outside, before you eat it, 

it's plain, sprinkled with powdered sugar, (in this case the sugar is a little bit of personality), 

but when you bite into it, it changes your mind. Because one bite is like BAM! 

It's tasty, its something you want to eat more often. It's like one of the best things you've ever tried. 

I compare a person to a cream puff because it's true. When you first meet a person, 

you may think that their just plain, boring. BUT when you get to know them on the right 

level, they aren't so, boring, their personality grows on you.  They're either the people you

love to hang/chill with (The BEST cream puff you've ever had) OR They're the type 

of people that you just can't stand the types that you don't even want to listen to 

(in this case, the sour, spoiled, disgusting cream puff you never want to eat again)

Ha, yup this is my metaphor for judging people, and guess what, don't judge the wrong way

karma does go around, someone might judge you one day, and they'll be thinking about 

you the wrong way. 

That's all I had to say today,

Aloha, 

RODLYNCHRAINA.

Actions Speak Louder then Words

So far, I don't know what I want to do with my life anymore. 

All these things happening now, I just can't see what's in my future anymore. 

I try to visualize it, but I can't because now I see that everything can change in a second. 

I'm giving up on hope, on faith, on everything. I prayed as much as I could. 

Look what's happening. Everything she said she was going to do is happening. 

What is love? If love isn't in this marriage, it makes me wonder, what real Love is like. 

It's a question I ask myself everyday. Love? Makes people jealous, makes people lie?

Oh God, help me understand the meaning and terms of this word "Love"

Everyone uses it, I just want to know the definition, and the actions.

I don't want to use it.. It's been abused by so many people, so many ways. 

How can you use LOVE in a good way, how do you use LOVE the right way?

I want to meet a couple who's truly in love. I want to see someone show me LOVE.

Actions are way better then just words. So don't tell me, I need you to show me. 

Priority > ANYTHING.

You were the one who told me
"This is the type of man you should marry,
The one that tells you he loves you everyday, out of the blue."
If this is the way you really feel about him, then why all this drama?
If this is what you dreamed of, shouldn't it be worth it, to follow him?
If this is what you think of him, Why would you ruin it by bringing the past up?

My inspiration of Love is slowly disappearing, it's just not the fact that all these fights are happening it's the fact that you're turning into someone I hate,
The type of people who bring up the past,
It was years ago. Let it go, I understand if it was a year ago, but no,
It was 25 Years ago. It's definitely behind, it's most def that he's committed to you.
Don't ruin it now, you seriously can't be that tired of him.

He made me cry today, telling me that I won't miss him
To the fact that he's out of my life, 90% of the time.
I cried infront of him, because he's saying it like I don't care.
He isn't home to see me crying, he isn't there at church to see me cry my eyes out.
I miss him, he doesn't know most of me just because he's at work.
"You don't think I care? I do. I just hide it from you."
I feel like saying that to him, seriously.
He's leaving this Saturday, YES, I will miss him, definitely.
What makes it worst is that I, Me, is the only one dropping him off at the Airport,
I'm the last one he'll see out of his whole family right before he leaves.
That's so sad! Am I the only one that cares?! The only one that will cry when he's
taking his steps into the airport?

My stress is so high -_- It aint even funny,
Personal Transition Plan, Algebra 2, Spanish! Ugh all stress me at school.
Now all this, at home. I don't need it seriously, the actions that I react to it, it's literally killing me.


Quotes of the week,
-Never make someone your priority, when to them, you're only an option.
-Settle for the less since you left the best.
-I'm not here to play the game, I'm not here to win your heart.
I'm here to prove you wrong, everyone isn't the same. © evol
-Don't give up, when your everything becomes a nothing..
because it shows that, that person shouldn't have been an everything to you in the first place.© evol

Friendships > Relationships

I could honestly say I finally understand everything when people say,
Friendships are permanent and Relationships are temporary.

Like seriously. So I had this talk with one of my closest friends,
since Highschool started, I told her I'll NEVER do her wrong.
Cause fuck, There was so many people that walked out of my life,
especially the close ones, like wtf?! Some people was so close like,
I didn't care what I said, I was never shame, I was open to them
everything. But I told her, I don't want to do that, thats why I've been
an honest friend, and someone who tries to help others out you know?

I don't want to be those other assholes that walk out of your life because
there's just a new boy in their life, or a new girl. You know? I mean, okay
I might walk out, like you won't see me and shit, but fuck I KEEP IN TOUCH!
You know what I'm saying like, I don't just walk out and never talk to you in like MONTHS
I check up and see hows everything is going. And plus I'm the type of person that you can just come up to me crying and I'll be the one
worrying about whats wrong and try to cheer you up like, drive you to go get ice cream
or take you to waipio park and just try to make you smile or something
NO, I'm not a fake person. I may do stupid shit but I learn from it. I may be a bitch when other people who don't know me talk shit about me.
I may be a bitch when people who USED to know me talk shit, but in
reality they don't know me anymore.

It's just useless how people throw things away like that.
There are friendships out there that is worth more then matrial things,
and they have the nerve to just throw it away.
There are friendships out there that you won't believe like, the types of interests your in,
the way people just be there no matter what, people who just finish your sentences without knowing it.
I mean, all those years in bestfriend relationships is WAY worth being in then being hurt by someone you thought you loved.

Just think about the concequinces you will be in when the one you love walks out, and theres no one there to walk in and cheer you up because YOU'RE THE ONE who pushed them out in the first place.

Keep it up, one day you'll end up with no friends at all, just the fake ones.

Checker, Chess & Poker

So today, I woke up around 11 o'clock because I came home at 5:58 AM.
And this is what we did.

Yesterday LJ & Kevin decided that we're watching movies at my house,
So we watched the Enforcer, then Kells called, since we had alot of time
before she came back to Ewa. We began to watch Nick & Norahs Infinite Playlist.
That movie was good! LOL. So, Kells came about 3/4 through the movie.
When the movie was finish, we left to Waipahu, so since we saw traffic going into
Ewa we decided to just stay at Manang Janice's house til the traffic went down.

At about 10:30 pm we left, dropped off LJ and got home around 11:00pm
Waited til my mother went to sleep, I should've left, but I didn't
Rod came out of his room and went outside, so I couldn't leave,
So then I just waited, around 11:40-12:00 I finally got out! Lmao.

Left, called up Karl, was supposed to meet up with him at Times
But the boys where waiting for meet up, so instead met up with Karen
at Times and followed her to her house. Then, waited for Layton, Sheldon and Angie.
They left gentry so just met up at Juniors house.
Junior, Richard, Angie, Layton, Jikka, Sheldon was there,
Craig dropped off Mailyn, waited for Craig to come back.
I guess everyone was lazy so decided to watch The Eye.
During the movie Justin came and scared us,
& They thought I fell asleep and was snoring! ROFL.

After the Movie, HUNGRY!
LOL. So went to Mikies.
Jikka, Craig, & Justin decided to go home,
So after we ate, went to PearlCity WalMart to chill
Got kicked out for Loitering,
Went back to WestLoch Estates, and chilled on the side of the
Road til 5:30 AM, then Richard wanted to go home, so
I dropped off, Sheldon, Karen, Angie and Layton.

& Yeah that was my Night/Morning, (:
Got home around 6:00AM, My mother woke up
right after I got into the house, so I was SAFE!
Hahaa,

Plans for April 4, 2009?
Tonight/Tomorrow Morning,
Maybe, Fast And Furious 4,
with Karl & Karen at Wards
(LAST MOVIE!) Then after? Chill?
I don't know yet, still planning.

But anyway, Right now, I'm uploading new Photos on my
NEW MySpace (http://www.myspace.com/464439940)
VISIT, ADD, COMMENT, MESSAGE!
&& New Photos on my Flickr! I haven't updated it in a year!
(http://www.flickr.com/photos/evolphotography/)
VISIT & COMMENT!!

Okay then PEACEZZZZY!

Future & Art

I wish you could support me.
I wish you could just hold me up and say,
"You can do it, put your mind to it."
I wish you could tell me,
"Do what you LOVE and LOVE what you do"

But I can't get everything I want in life.
I feel like you don't support me and
What I want to do in life.
I just feel like you're there just telling me
Lies, after lies..
In your eyes, when I talk about it..
It's like "You're not going to make it in life."
In your eyes, it's like,
"Give up you're not good enough"

That's all I see,
I never see the part where you say
"Wow you're going to make it to the top"
or "Someone's going to love this"

You know what I mean,
All I'm asking is for you're support.
This is what I love, this is my passion.
I may not show it, everyday, but I try to.
It may not come out like I want it to,
But I make it work, I work around the damages.

Photography & Design.
My Passion for art is just naturally there.
I didn't decide that I want to be come a lawyer,
then all of a sudden want to become a photographer.
It just came to me, I love art, and the stories behind
the picture, behind the words.
It defines things in many different ways.

Art will always be LOVE.
Because it cooperates with everyone.
You can trust art, and art can trust you.
You can vent to art, because it can also show you pain.

Art is just a blank canvas awaiting to be painted.
No matter if it's Paint, Music, Photos, or just normal Poems.
Art will always be love,
Art will always understand you.

Made My Day

Jonah Kim & I.

Rod: haha, i like yoshi (:
Kim: mario baby!
Rod: ew, when did you turn gay? lol
Kim: Gay? i'm married to you right? Lol

Haaha, well anyway.

Stressed, Depressed, EVERYTHING.

I hate you so bad, But I love you too much!
What am I doing to myself? Hurting myself every single day
Just for you! and you don't notice how much I miss you.
I'm so mad at myself, I just can't handle all this pain anymore.
I can't do this! I'm breaking down, for no reason sometimes.
Like, I'd be in a happy postion, and BAM! You pop up in my head.

You pop up, when I pass your house when I pick up my friends.
You pop up, when I talk about Evo's with Kim.
You pop up, when I look at the person that sits in my passenger seat.
You pop up, when I walk into my bedroom door.

You don't see how much I still hurt!
Yeah, 15% of my love and feelings are still there,
But, UGH! I still hurt like how it was when we first seperated.
This isn't fair, but one day, that one day I'm waiting for you
To switch positions, when I'm the one who's happy and YOU,
You are the one who's hurting. When you're the one in your room
Crying your eyes out because you're the one whos hurting.

I SERIOUSLY CAN'T WAIT TIL THAT FUCKEN DAY. >:(

Extra Credit
+++STOP FUCKEN USING MY FCKN CARD!

Productive Day.

So today was sort of productive.
Woke up around 9:30ish, and just started listening to music.
Told my mother I had a meeting for an upcoming photoshoot.
Around 11:00ish, Decided to call up my boy luis. Cause
Cullenboy asked me if I was going to the gay prom tonight
from 9:00-11:00pm. Lol. So yeah, around 12:00ish,
started to wash my car, Karen texts me cause Karl didn't
answer so I was finishing with washing my car, because I
needed time to look on google maps for Sacred Hearts Academy.
about 1:30ish left my house, went to Starbucks because I was
craving for SM2PRUBT.. Headed toward Kunia to pick up Karl.
Then headed for Diamond Head Distributors.
Got a call from Karen, she thought we were lost but we were just picking things up.
Started heading toward S.H.A., Got on the freeway and traffic was whack!.
Then talked with Karl for a bit, someone was Reminiscing playing the song
"Is there A Place"
Then finally got to S.H.A., Karl hitting on lower classment but he didn't know rofl.
Headed to the gas station, ): my SM2PRUBT fell off my car. Then headed to
UH yogurt land but so fail -_- NO PARKING! so then decided to go to pearlcity one.
CHANGE OF PLANS. lol, went to kuru kuru sushi
THEN headed to Yogurtland. That point Karl was late for work.

Yogurtland - So we went in, asked for sample cups. Took big fat samples, started to
decide if we wanted to buy a bowl, said no, grabbed more fat samples,
then walked out.

Haha, only cool people do that (:
Then! Finally headed to Kapolei to drop off Karl,
then yehh, Went home after we dropped him off.
That was my day! A little productive I must say.

She Was Mine,

I want to broadcast! Haha doesn't this look fun lol. He was broadcastin while singing, but yeah I LIKE THIS SONG! lol, Time look limewire it (: See what I do late at night when I don't want to sleep :D
"in my eyes, she was mine"


she was mine - Broadcast your self LIVE

Word from The Experienced

Note: This is for the ones, who expirenced having a significant other who just doesn't care anymore, or never notices how much you've done for him/her.

Everything you need to make a relationship work is everything YOU should believe in.
Trust, honesty, equality.
Like I've said before in my blog about two days ago.
If you promise to stay with your significant other for a long time.
BE THAT SOLDIER - To fight that war, show other people who cares and loves him/her.

Don't play that stupid game, others play.
It isn't fun when you're the one that's being played.
Ask those around you, that used to play around.
Everything they've done, came back around.

Some people don't notice how much their significant other is doing for them.
And if you're one of those people, or if you just think you notice it,
Please, try your best to do the same, because some people give their all to make you happy.

There's people that
-Give their other EVERYTHING they wanted.
-Give more then they recieve.
-Try their best to heal your heart.
-Try to anything to see you smile.

And for those who think negative,
STOP!, it's not making your relationship any better,
Just stop, be happy, be lucky, that you still have your significant other right by your side.
If I could, I would yell and all of you that don't notice what you have infront of your face.
There is SO MANY PEOPLE who would die to have their love on their side again.
PLEASE, notice what your partner is doing for you,
You don't want to hurt them, and leave them thinking that all you think about is the negative.
Look to the future look at what you already have, look at the positive.
That's the best you can do. Notice.
There's those little fights you guys get into, HANG ON, losing someone you love, isn't worth it.
Losing someone that you really care about over something stupid is just DUMB.

Take every chance you got because, you know what, later on, it may never come by.
Give your relationship your all because there's so many regrets that are waiting to happen.
Don't wait until the last minute to say your sorrys because it'll be worst.
Some say, get hurt now, or get hurt later it'll be the same?
No, WRONG, later hurts more then ever, if you need to say sorry, or you need to make up for something,
Do it as soon as possible. because later, you'll break harder then your partner. Trust me.

Listening to the experience is most likely the smartest thing you can ever do.
They've experienced and have you? No.
If you don't want to do what they say, just follow, and if everything comes true, then LISTEN.

Well that's all I have to say for now,
Hit me up on twitter, http://twitter.com/rodlynchraina 24/7
Goodnight world.. Word from the infamous evol,

Optimistic, Pestimistic, FCK IT

There are two types of people in the world.
No, make that 3 different people.
ONE: Optimistic, the ones that look at the Positives.
TWO: Pestimistic, the ones that look at the Negatives.
THREE: The ones who really don't care.

And in my words, Optimistic people, look toward their future, they keep their heads up high in the clouds, forgets what other people say about them. They keep their life sane, and above the influence.

Pestimistic people, see today, and no further. They look toward the negative, hardly ever the positives. They're probably under the influence because they just dont care about whats happening tomorrow.

The ones who don't really care? are the types of people who just say FCK IT.

So who would you be influenced with?
-LOVEisEVOL

April Fools!

First blog of april.
I hope this month won't be as hard on me as March.
So plans for this month,
-Federal tax return! (April 3)
-Back to School (April 6)
-Kevin-James' 17th birhday (April 16)
-Chris Brown's 18th birthday (April 16)
-Kelly Ann's 18th birthday (April 23)
That's all for now? I think.

So I've been updating twitter with BLOG IDEAS.
And I needa write them (:
I'll go now, and post them up when I get them down,
LOVEisEVOL

Between You And I

I've been listening to this song,
over and over again,
It's about moving forward,
He still misses her, but he sees nothing good in waiting,
"But the lovers that leave us will always hold their place."

"/ I need to find a way, you know?
A way to let go, a way to give up, a way to keep myself together.
This lockdown situation is just, making me go insane.
This love situation is just, making me miss you more.

I can't just let go, a years work of love.
I can't just let go all the things we've been together.
But now? Thinking about you, feels like we've never been together.
I bet, you let go days before we seperated.
I bet, you didn't love me as much as you said you did.

You let me go, you stepped away from me,
you walked out of the way to keep me safe.
you dropped me.
You just, I dont know.

I didn't mean to, yell at you.
I didn't mean to do anything to hurt you.
I didn't want us apart for good.
I didn't want us to be this way.
I didn't want us to end our forever ever this way.

I wish you were that soldier,
that fought the war to win my heart.
I wish you were that soldier,
that never gave up, that understood.
I wish you were that soldier,
that did anything to keep me in your arms.

But me?
I wasn't good enough for your hard work.
I wasn't good enough for your love.
I was just THERE.

A girl, standing in front of you,
holding my heart out, holding myself out,
to you, telling you to hurt me all you can.
Hurt me til I bleed with regret.
Hurt me til I find out reasons why I shouldn't love you.

Ugh, I love you for the wrong reasons.
I love you too much, too much to let you leave my heart.
I love you too much to see you with someone else.
I love you too much to see you give up everything.

You don't see it.
You don't see, that I am that soldier,
that fights the war til I win your heart.
I am that soldier that understood you.
I am that one that defined you.

Without me, you wouldn't be how you are today.
Without me, you wouldn't have learned all the things you learned.
Just without me, you would never see, how much someone really loved you.

I'm waiting for that day,
that day of regret.
That simple time, where you actually see,
something in me.
Until you see that that oppurtunity you're leading today,
will never love you like I did, like I still do.
That day, when you see what I was trying to tell you the whole time.

I was grateful, you taught me how to love.
You taught me how to trust,
but you also taught me, how to be careful.
Careful how other peoples actions could hurt other peoples feelings.
You taught me how, to hate.

Fortune Cookies

Hello world,

It's 10:20 AM and I just woke up.
My blogs will offically be about ME,
I did mistakes before, & talk $hit,
but karma came around., -_- I deserved it.

But anyway, It'll be advice for me & for the people that need it.
I got a fortune the other day when I was eating with Karen Steez & Richard F. Baby.
It said receive advice as much as giving,
something like that I lost it -_-

I noticed, I do have to recieve the advice people give me because
I noticed, I don't listen, I don't even listen to my own advice.
Ugh, I'm so hard head. Honestly.

I was looking up fortune cookies and some say things that are quite true
something like.. "Our First & Last Love is, Self-Love"
I should make a goal for myself,
Every piece of advice, I'll try my best to listen to it.
Every fortune I recieve I shal l take pictures of it and post it on my collection (:

Happy Jonah "EH" Kim Day!

It's his day today, yup.
He's turning 17 today,
WHOOHOO! one more year then he's legal haha.

I gotta make him cupcakes today then draw on it!
lol Gotta make his day yennoo.

Equality

is everything in a relationship.
GIVE & RECEIVE.
50/50, half and half.

Don't do that 80/20,
receive and sometimes give.
That's not how it works.

EQUALITY is one of the things you need.
TRUST is a definite.
Some people just don't see it.
Stop playing these games,
FEELINGS is something you should be serious about.
Don't fuck around with people's feelings.
It's not going to make anything better in the future.

Stop lying to each other and be real.
Stop and make a decision, you can't have both.
You can't have one on the side.
Keep the promises you make,
follow your word, make your relationships stronger then it already is.

Fights are something relationships are supposed to go through.
Don't hope that your relationship won't have any fights,
it'll never work that way, you have those fights to see how
much you can handle, those fights make you see how much
your significant other loves you and how much they would
fight for your love.

Don't blame the fights, blame the fighter.
If they give up too easily, in their eyes,
you're not worth the fight.
But if they keep fighting until they see and they understand,
that ONE, will stick around, and will cope with all the fights you go through.
That ONE will be the one to be there every single day, minute, second you need them.
That one will be the one to understand you. That one will be the one that will always
TRY to make everything alright when you get into fights.

I hope the people who are in relationships,
and if you are reading this,
take it into consideration,
listen to what I have to say.
My experience hurt my heart, to the point I just want to give up.
But I'm trying my best to get back up on my feet,
I thought I had someone, someone that will catch me in his arms,
and hold me until I'm up and standing with him.

But he didn't wait til that happened,
when he caught me, he didn't get a good grip of me,
and let me slip right through his arms..

Boys, hold your girls tight in your arms.
Girls, do your man right, they deserve it, they fight the war to keep you.

Reply, "that it,"

to Sarah's blog..
Isolation hurts, but sometimes that's the only way,
the only way to stay away, the only way for you to be happy.

We really do, hope one day, you BOTH realize what you both lost.
you may be happy, we hope one day you regret things you have done to us.
this is from both of us, to both of you..

Stop doing the people around you,
WRONG.
It'll come back around,

Your mom.

March 30, 2009 (10:21 AM) -
Damn yesterday I had a major break down -_-
Aint my fault, my feelings are sorta still there.
You can ask everyone around me.
Ugh! I'm only human, I can have my feelings when it comes back right?!

Whatever, moving forward.
I'm here at home, sitting on the bed, doing nothing.
Well, I was chatting with Chris Padilla, but my internet
disconnected. At least he has something to do.

Damn, hopefully this second week of spring break
Mmmmm, Kelly-Ann is sleeping over this week WHOHOO!
Well, only until her father comes back.

(10:19 PM) - So Boring! What did I do today?
Picked up LJ, went to campbell industrial,
went to Kapolei Hale, Cruised at deanes house for a while,
Dropped off LJ to work, then came back home.
:) that was my day how was yours?

Suite 22

From now on, I'm going to try Blog everyday.
I hate holding these feelings in,

Dear anonymous,
I fucken hate you.
You let me fall straight through your arms.
I thought you wanted to prove us girls wrong?
I thought you never wanted to be like my ex?
I thought you were different,

Next time, I'm not going to follow this bullshit.
This time, I'm building my guard up stronger and better.
This time, only the one who really works at it,
will break it down.
This time the only one who wants it really bad,
will SHOW me they're different, not in words,
but in actions.

Haw, here I am world, show me what you got in store for me.

Morgan's Corner

Wrote On: March 26, 2009

March 24, 2009:

Around 10 PM
Karen Steez, and Craig Sweeney picked me up from my block.
Picked up Sheldon, switched drivers.
Karen drove to WalMart
Waited for the choke load of people.
As soon as everyone got there we all went to 76 gas station.
From there followed Allen and Layton toward Kailua.
Went to KailuaZippys for bathroom break.
After everyone was ready to go, headed toward Morgan's Corner.
At first it was scary because I've never been there before.
I swear we walked atleast a mike or more.
Pretty gay cause half of the group went back to the cars half way
through the trail.
seriously the road was really long, like who would live all the way at
the bottom of the trail?
There was this one point where we thought we found the tree but guess
what?!
The road was still going so we decided to keep going.
There was another point where we found this shack. It felt like wrong
turn. Because it was a shack out of no where.
All the lights was on, there was trailors, golf carts, and a whole lot
of parts.

LOL then we ended in a dead end which sucked really badly.
So we headed back.

After everyone headed back, it was me, karen, Richard, Layton, Allen,
Al John, and his friend left all the way behind. That so wasn't nice
of them to just leave all of us.
Cause we needed to rest because the we had to walk up hill so ugh much
more pain in the ass.

Blah, after Morgans we headed toward to allen house then most of us
went home.
so it was just me ryan Karen sheldon richard neil junior Layton and
Allen all headed to mickies to eat
Then headed to wal mart.
Neil left us then we just cruised at wal mart then headed to a park,
Started up the hookah and me Karen Ryan and sheldon left to head home
and
Richard, Layton and Allen decided to stay at the park.
So we dropped off sheldon and Karen.

Funny

Wrote On: March 25, 2009

How parents blame the people around their child.
The first to blame is friends, next to blame is themselves.
To me it's funny because why can't they just blame the one who did it?
So irritating that kind.

Like why blame everyone else around when the one right infront of you 
has done wrong?
It doesn't make sense.

Ha I can't go to prom I deserve it I not going lie.
I can't take out the car, I also deserved it.
To me I'm taking it pretty well because I know what I deserve
Kicking and screaming won't make anything better
But for some reason that's what they want me to do.
Cry infront them, see me hurt that way.
I've learned that it won't make anything better so why be immature 
when it comes to punishment?
Telling me I'm cocky because I look like I'm proud of what I've done
But really I'm ashamed but I'm not about to cry just because they want 
to see it.

They don't see that ever since my ex, my life has already been fucked 
up.
Points where I finally realize that he treated me wrong,
Where I realized that I couldve been class of 2009 and not 2010.
Where I realized that I'm better off alone then with someone with a 
broken heart.

Don't they see ever since him my life has been fucked up.
I've learn to cope with the pain, crying screaming, kicking, and 
throwing tantrums won't help anything out.

Why do they want me to act immature?

Shouldn't they be proud that I am handling this better then they 
thought?

Spit yo Game, Talk yo Shit

Wrote On: March 20, 2009

I saw you today, I must say my heart stopped for a second.
And no, not in a good way.

I wave hi and all you do is nodd
Thanks Alot, you promised you'd say hi.

But that's what your good at right?
Breaking promises like it doesn't really matter to anyone

Well go a head fuck up your life.
Break peoples hearts, break their promises.
Play around behind every girls back.
That's right you turned into your ex.
the one you told me to never be like.

She cheated on you with your bestfriends and you go ahead and do that 
to me.
This all proves how much of an asshole you are.

I decided to myself, I don't want to be your bestfriend.
I don't even want to be close with you.

The ways you act, so judgemental, so demanding..
I thank god I'm finally done with all those drama.
I'm done with the complaining and the whinning.

It's her problem now, no longer mine :)

Last Time by George Nozuka

Wrote On: March 20, 2009

So I was sitting in 2nd period today and I was hella bored so I 
decided to watch/listen to JRA
LOL so this girl sitting next me goes
"oh shit he's hot" then I turnaround I go..
"hells yeah!" LOL but the boys around us go
"oh please why don't you just ruin the moment with your boy fantasies."

I can say that made my day.

Stop

Wrote On: March 18, 2009

Don't call me unexpectedly because you want a ride home.
That's just not fair.
I have to be there when you really need someone or really need a ride?

You walked out on me when I got kicked out.
I thought I could trust you! I thought you would take me in when 
everyone walks out.
You lied to me.
You gave me the sweet talk that you said you hated when you saw other 
guys do that to our friends.

Leave me alone, you said you don't give a fuck.

LEAVE ME ALONE

Go On Girl

Wrote On: March 18, 2009

So these last couple days just was shity for me.
I have no idea why.
So I was talking to Layton last night and he's right.
It is easy for someone or something to change your life plans.

Freshmen year, at the very beginning, I planned to grad with class '09.
But then here came Sophomore year, I met my exboyfriend.
I had my plans ahead of me,
Do my SATs, ACTs, & my GED done.
If I did that, I'd grad with my '09 friends and not be stuck with some 
other people.

I shouldve went on with my plans.
But now it's too late.
Third term is ending and it's definitely too late.

Mmm... You changed my life so drastically, and you don't know it.
I'll get past all this, I don't need someone to pull me down everytime 
I stand up or myself.

Post Secret:
They're all right I got them when I need them the most,

Sanrio Products

Wrote On: March 17, 2009

So basically, everyone has either,
Hello Kitty, Kuromi or atleast SOMETHING Sanrio in their car.
So I want to start a new trend (:

My Integra 1990 will not be anything from sanrio but my own character (:

My NEW character I'm not so sure about the name for it will be but,
It'll be my cute little zebra (:
I'm starting to sketch him in class but I really can't lay him down on 
paper just yet.
I need some inspiration on deviantART
Yup that's all I wanted to share okay.

BYE. (:

Vent Session

Wrote On: March 17, 2009

Today Sarah, Deanne, and I
Had a vent session at Ewa Beach Park
I ain't going to lie, I cried.
Thoughts, feelings, hit me hard.

Even Shaun gave me pieces of advice t lunch.
I will keep this door unlocked.
I will leave my life the way it is.
I will grow stronger by the hurt I do receive.
God did give me a challenge.
God gave me him to prepare me for future relationships.
To give me a sight of what I need to do the next time.

Everything I gave him, was it worth giving?
I thought relationships was to give and receive? I realized, I gave 
more then what I received.
It was hardly ever the 50-50 that was supposed to be.
More like 80-20.. If you truly want to let every thing go,
I leave you hurting me every day.

Deanne put out a question I really want to ask you..

Why are you hurting me?

Unexpected Turnaround

Wrote on: March 17, 2009

Damn so many unexpected things are happening to me.
I'm starting to sneak out, hookah?
It's a whole different me.

Mmm.. I like it this way with no questions asked.
No more boring nights on the phone.
No more staying home doing nothing all day.

Now? I go out everyday.
I have people to comfort me when I need them.
I don't need to worry about expecting calls when I don't feel like
talking.
I don't have someone hovering over me While I text my friends.
I don't need to worry about these new friends I made will break my
heart into millions of pieces.

Technologic

Wrote on: March 17, 2009

I noticed that the way younger generations are starting to do things
I never knew how to do until intermediate
So I'm at Richards house waiting for him
This little boy on his scooter comes by my car and says,
"I got a text on AIM!" out loud
I swear he's like only 6 or 7 years old.

Well my cousin is only 3,
And he already knows how to works his moms cell phone more then his mom.
LOL shame I can say.

Well that's my thought of the day
Bye.

Roar.

My thoughts today (March 26, 2009):
1. Damn, how could a girl ever do you wrong, ohh hot damn..
2. Wth am I doing now days? I'm so disappointed in myself.
3. Wow, I like your default, sexxy.
4. I never noticed how cute your smile is, too bad, I will never like someone like you.
5. I can't
6. Damn, 45 dollars on make-up products.
7. Wow, tomorrow is Friday AGAIN!
8. YAY, next week bestfriend can sleep over (: time to have fun.
9. Tomorrow, JUNIOR PROM.
10. WTF is my bunny doing?
11. Should I bring my SLR tomorrow, but where am I putting it?
12. Some people disappoint me, ugh.
13. I deserve a session by myself today, I'm so disappointed in so many things.
14. Should I cruise tonight? I need the sleep though so I don't wake up with dark circles, if so, i have to use more make up then i do need. lol.
15. Hopefully I get to drive tomorrow.
16. OMG, that guy at starbucks is hooot/cute, *she's lucky to be with him. (kelly knows what I'm talking about on this one.)
17. Hey im typing with two fingers, cause my nails are too long to type regular >_<
18. Thanks for failing me KAPOLEI STARBUCKS.
19. Smoky eyes, PERFECT!
20. ROFL, Carlos' face.

Tell Me More.

I noticed, I run to the most out of nowhere people for advice.
But that's what they're there for right?!
I trust them they trust me ^_^
But I love the feeling to know that they're there for me.

So I'm listening to JRAquino's song right now,
I wish I can find someone like that, the song
is so sweet :) "Blame me"

Someone who can take the blame,
like how I did.

Someone who is there no matter what,
well, I try to be there no matter what.

Someone who doesn't care about everyone else but you,
OMG, I wish -_-

But that's practically the only thing I can do..
Is WISH.

Mentally hurt.

Have you ever met someone that changed your life?
Have you ever left someone hanging when they needed you the most?
Have you ever met anyone that made you smile no matter what, Happy or Sad?
Has anyone ever made you laugh even if your FURIOUS, with just looking at you?
Were you ever curious? About how love works?
Ever been given a promise that meant so much to you?
Has anyone broken a promise?
Has these questions got you thinking?

Someone today told me, "Find love"
Are you serious, me? -_-
I thought I did, before, now? I don't think I believe anymore.
I don't trust anymore, I can't just let ANYONE, come close to me.
Not the way you did.

Speaking about trust, & Love.
I was just at church yesterday,
Yeah I haven't gone in a while, but got me thinking today.
Believe, the word Shaun Agtarap was talking about.
Do I believe?
The answer that runs through my mind, "Not anymore."
If you have nothing to live for, Find something to die for.
(Kevin's Profile)
I did both, I tried my best. Lived and was dying for.

I don't like hypocrits. I hate them.
Especially when they say they hate this type of person.
Then later on in life they turn in to someone they hate.
I hate that. On the real. Be real with yourself.
Then there is that type of people, that say,
they'll never do this, they never do that.
Then the next couple weeks they do this and they do that.

Stop being someone you're not.
Stop being something you never wanted to be in the first place.
Keep your promises because in return you might get something way better.
Some people cherish the respect other people give them.
And sometimes when people get disrespect they do have the right to be disrespectful back.

Someone once told me,
"Don't stop it, it maybe the worst thing they could do, but they have the right to."
I respected that piece of advice, I also respected something I didn't like.
I let everything go, I tried my best to forget everything like I said I was.
But it really does feel like you forgot what we had.
Everything we did, all the things we planned for.
"Round 1, round 2, round 3, I told you never bring that bitch around me."
Thats how I feel everyday. Every time, I have the chance, I wish.
But I have a Heart to not hurt anyone that hurt me.

But it's my turn now,
Time to be selfish just for myself.
Time to be me.
F-U, dipshit.

More Money, More Problems.

So my parents,
They don't approve my interest in ART.
Well, they make me think that way..

I guess because they think about $$$
But I know, if I try hard enough, ,
I can go places, do things, & get that $$$.

Now, I don't even know what college I'm going to.
So I'm just going to sign up for scholarships,
til I figure out what I want to do with my college life.

++Lately, I've been doing PhotoShoots,
& When I look at my old pictures, I can say,

I've Improved (:

--I haven't been making shirts, or shoes -_-
I want to get back into it, it's just that,
It's money that I have to worry about,

No job, Too busy to help my parents,
Negative on the money.

I've sacraficed so many things, just for one person,
I didn't have enough time to think about myself,
I can also say, That's myself to blame.
I was all caught up...

Now that I'm back on track,
I'm gonna get my life back to the,
Independent person I was before everything Happened (:

Sign Here Please x____________,

For the people who has been helping me,
cope with the shit that I've been going through.


Thank You.

All I have to say, without you guys,
I would be M.I.A. from school & friends,
but now, I'm M.I.A. from home (:

You guys keep me in check with the present,
So I don't dwell on the past.
You keep me sane.
Once again..

Thank You, I Love You Guys.

Broken Hearts to Fixing Cars

Ten-Eighteen-TwoThousandSeven,
My password is still the same,
& When I do type it in, I no longer think of you.

Pictures I see on my desktop of you and I,
I no longer think of you.
Places we've been, Things we did,
I no longer think of you.

You hurt me so bad,
I don't feel the pain anymore.
You fucked me over,
I don't feel the pain anymore.

Is this how it feels? To be Happy?
I had this conversation with Mr. Retondo last night.

My car brings me happiness.
The fact I keep myself busy,
fixing it up.
Getting my goals done myself,
being the INDEPENDENT ($$)
Person I always wanted to be.

Buy my own $hit cause it's legal.
Think about myself, cause I can.
Go out with guys & no one caring.
Talk to who I like cause I'm $ingle, bitch.
The only people I need to worry about is my parents.
I maybe lonely in the car but sometimes it's better that way.
Hardly any road rages because I'm mad.
Race when I like, Rev when I like, & what if my car aint that nice,
It's getting there!

Progress in getting sounds,
Saving for;
Headlights,
Bumper,
Lips + Skirts,
Window repairs,
When everything is on, finally for the last step..

PAINT JOB!

My blue-BABY yum yum is gonna turn into
my WHITE-snowy Prince (:
now that's my muthafckn fairytale.

Thoughts,

Has anyone ever crossed the line with you?
Shity feeling isn't it, well I think it is.

Thank You, Come Again

Reading everyones blogs, so interesting compared to mine.
My life is full of drama, just like theirs, so why do I have to vent here?
There's people out there listening to my voice, oh I need to grow up.

2k9 plans:
I definietly need to change.

I'm starting to,
I'm no longer:
Anti-social, the way I was when I was with you.
Plain old me, I'm taking the chances.
Boring-self-conscious, I'm out going, & HEY! I love bringing myself to a better life.

I'm starting to be the Lyn I knew back in 7th grade.
The one that introduced risks to Ms. Kelly Ann.
The one that didn't care that boys knew I liked them.
The one that LOVED making new friends,
no matter if their old, fake, real, boring, I never did care.
I was the Mellow one.

I tried anything I wanted,
I think I lost it all when I started hanging with the wrong people,
I got self-conscious because I couldn't be like THEM,
I got boring because I never saw myself being, Me around them,
I never took risks because they were one a higher level then I was,
I was anti-social because I just thought I couldn't make friends.

But now, the year 2009,
New friends + Old friends = BETTER ME!

I'll forget my past, It hurts me every single day,
I will admit, I wouldn't be this way if it wasn't for you,
when you left,
I realized, I need to be the person I was, because with you,
I was just a person standing in the middle of a crowd,
using something like bubbleboy's outfit,
I was so scared of people being close to me,
only reason was because of you..

Thank you.
My life offically changed,
The day I turned 17.

New Life

So it's like One in the morning, and I can't sleep I have school tomorrow. Ha, I did hookah today, didn't really help either, but it's not going to kill me. But anyway on with whatever I need to get off my mind.
This past few weeks it's been hard for me to move on but I am trying my best. Well, I think I'm interested into someone but you know me, if they have their eye on someone, I'm definitely not going to try, and especially if they have a girlfriend already, I'm not going to bother, I won't "Pussy" block no one. I'm not that type of girl. Unlike some people, that LOVE to pussy/cock block their friends to get what they want. So selfish I say. So I talked to Cullen, and damn that boy can say some deep words when it comes to advice. And, he's right, and so true. So yeah, I will listen to what he says because right now in my head, it's just nasty how everything is happening. But oh well. I've also talked to Luis' friend, ALOT of people have so many different advice, and I'll tell you this, they're all true. Ha, I'll leave it as it is, because look at me now? I'm getting stronger by the day because I'm not weakening because all this is happening to me. I want to become a stronger person because I don't want anyone to look at me because all the bad decisions I've been doing, so I'll stop the bad things, and move on to the greater. I can find someone that'll treat me better, that's what everyone tells me. Not that he didn't treat me well, it's just yeah. I loved the way I was being treated, but when I needed him the most he just walked out and left. I need someone that'll take me in when I need them the most because I don't want to be left out and not cared for but oh well.. everything is said and done. I will confess, I did make a mistake leaving him, but it was his choice to keep it the way it is now. I wish him a better life without me, since I've been making it such a fuss..
Well anyway back to the present life now. So on Saturday, February 28, 2009, I went to Pearls with Kell Bellz and I actually got bored and did my makeup lol, used flashies for once. When we got there, I swear, people got eye problems. lol. I don't care, I looked the way I do on my default ^_^ Hello! Back on track.. So at 3 Me and Kellz was on our way to KAC's photoshoot, and mmm,, NOT MU FAULT PEARL CITY THERE WAS TRAFFIC, but anyway, went to the SECRET place, and took photos. waited a little longer, til some more people arrived. I got spanked by Ryan's Automatic car -_- SO SHAME!, but I did spank, Richard and Greg's car, Buwhwhhhahaha. Richard was ashamed. I DRIFTED! not purposly though, lol. I did though. But AGAIN, get back on track.. This is guy was starring from a-far, OMG... Sexy (: lol, Kelly Bellz, you need to introduce me because meng! Boy just got a JOB, he drives a SEXY ass CIVIC, and omg, SENIOR. Lol, I'm sorry, perfect. Nah I don't know. Lol. Just introduce and I'll take it step by step (; lol. Like what Kelly said "You always wanted someone you could...Race with" Lol. I'm the only girl on campus that is down for race with my car, cause why. IM MUTHAFCKN PROUD. lol. I shall be.Well anyway, get back on track again..The boy has a job, a car, and is a senior.. AHHH! but the name, has REPEATED in my life once again. Damn, it's not my fault I fall for the "J"s lol. I think, or maybe it's just a quincidence. Who knows.. But guess what I'm getting tired (: So I'mma go cause I need sleep for the morning, Picking the boys + Kelly Bellz up. Goodnight bloggers, and myspacers if you're reading this. Bye.

Birthday Madness.

17, today. I feel old. I can honestly thought that this birthday was going to be shity. For one, spending it with a hurting heart, and he's no longer around. But it was getting better as the day went by. So this morning I got to LJ's house about, 7:00AM and waited for a good 20 mins for him to get ready, went to the manapua truck, then went to kevin's them house, they didn't answer so then we left going to Starmarket. Then Kim called, turned around picked him up at the parking lot. Then headed toward Star Market AGAIN. Then Kevin called, and he wanted to get picked up at the office. So once again, turned around. Lol got Kell Bellz and Kevin at the office as their father left the campus. Then finally headed to Star Market. Never had pink cup cakes so I settled for the white ones instead (: Then got pink M&Ms and Kell Bellz got cookies. Left to school. Then wrote a late note. Walked to Delos Reyes, and stayed for a good 10 mins. Talked to Deane on what was happening in my life, walked to 1st period with her. First period ugh, teacher loves to get on my ass about everything. Second period, this guy wanted to sing happy birthday to me, then he asked me something that was so out of the blue, EW. Lunch time, walked to my car with LJ and met up with Kim, walked to my car, filled my cup cakes with 19 candles, and everyone sang to me even the people I didn't know. Made about 2 wishes, lol. I didn't even know what to wish for. Then ate cup cakes. The bell rang so me and Kim walked to 3rd period together. In 3rd, Me, Richard and Neil went to the parking lot to take pictures talked about EMBLEMS, and I took Richards "ACURA" EMBLEM in this compartment. Walked back to 3rd got busted by security and yeah. Listened to music and then the Bell rang. Walked to 4th by myself, and then everyone in my 4th forgot so I just said out loud, "ANYTHING YOU WANNA TELL ME TODAY???" Lol, out of nowhere "HAPPY BIRTHDAY OLD FART" lol, weird. Texted Alfred, finally got a happy birthday from him, then yeh, couldn't wait until we got to Kapolei. Lol. After school, went to Waipahu, then Kapolei, for an hour, talked about who was taking who to prom. Then it was around 4 went to the call center side, cruise, texted Cullen, then left the building by 5. Got to Pizza Hut, turned in my application and BAM! Out of nowhere, Cullen hugs me tight and started to sing, "Happy Birthday to you, Happy Birthday to you, Happy Birthday dear Lesbian, HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU" Haha, Cullen you fag, I'm not a lesbian (; lol. You wish I was. But anyway... Yeah, after Pizza Hut I just couldn't stop smiling, got home dropped off the things I bought. Brang Kells home, left her house about 7 and now I'm home.

POSTSECRET
Only if I was close to "T.I" I'd be spending maybe PART of my Birthday with him (: IF ONLY, & I WISH.

PEOPLE Just made my day today, I LOVED IT (: Especially, the end of my lovely DAY ^_^

Happ Birthday To Me (:

MIA Part II

OMG! I noticed, I've been going MIA now days. Ha. Funny. Well anyway, I'm bored. I guess, Everyone is either sleeping or what so ever. I wanna talk to someone but I'm scared to call LJ's house >_< Well anyway, Mmmm.... Today was tough. ALOT Happened. At lunch, went to the DJ room because LJ and Kim wanted to go there, and Kevin was there before us. But before then we went to get LJ some stogs for him. Then parked by boys and girls side, and went to the DJ room found Kevin smoking by himself, so Sarah joined in. Then stayed there most of the time. LJ was my councilor for me. And gave me advice. Gave me somethings to think about. I'm not done with my "List" -_- Okay i'mma go I guess.. Talking to Kellz right now cause I think Kevin is sleeping. So yeah, Duece

MIA

Damn I've bee fucken MIA from BlogSpot ha.

A day mostly spent with Lj & Kevin & some what Babe. Just cruised it before work. Then obviously went to work. Now LJ has an interveiw this Saturday ^_^ Thanks to me. Now just to get Kim & Arnell in. lol. Well anyway, a lot got off my chest tonight at starbucks. Meng. So much to say so little time. But yeh, kev knows how I feel that’s why. We’re the 99.9% type of people that is true, that’s actually honest with every bone in our body, the ones who has a heart. Ha. Too much came off our chest we’re not even done venting -_-. I guess I needed to get things off my chest because some people just don’t have the respect to keep their own damn 2 cents to them to their-fucken-selves. Don’t say shit, YOU DON’T HAVE BOTH SIDES OF THE STORY. Stfu. GET A LIFE AND STOP DRESSINLIKE A FUCKEN-SLUT. Get it got it good.