More Money, More Problems.

So my parents,
They don't approve my interest in ART.
Well, they make me think that way..

I guess because they think about $$$
But I know, if I try hard enough, ,
I can go places, do things, & get that $$$.

Now, I don't even know what college I'm going to.
So I'm just going to sign up for scholarships,
til I figure out what I want to do with my college life.

++Lately, I've been doing PhotoShoots,
& When I look at my old pictures, I can say,

I've Improved (:

--I haven't been making shirts, or shoes -_-
I want to get back into it, it's just that,
It's money that I have to worry about,

No job, Too busy to help my parents,
Negative on the money.

I've sacraficed so many things, just for one person,
I didn't have enough time to think about myself,
I can also say, That's myself to blame.
I was all caught up...

Now that I'm back on track,
I'm gonna get my life back to the,
Independent person I was before everything Happened (:

Sign Here Please x____________,

For the people who has been helping me,
cope with the shit that I've been going through.


Thank You.

All I have to say, without you guys,
I would be M.I.A. from school & friends,
but now, I'm M.I.A. from home (:

You guys keep me in check with the present,
So I don't dwell on the past.
You keep me sane.
Once again..

Thank You, I Love You Guys.

Broken Hearts to Fixing Cars

Ten-Eighteen-TwoThousandSeven,
My password is still the same,
& When I do type it in, I no longer think of you.

Pictures I see on my desktop of you and I,
I no longer think of you.
Places we've been, Things we did,
I no longer think of you.

You hurt me so bad,
I don't feel the pain anymore.
You fucked me over,
I don't feel the pain anymore.

Is this how it feels? To be Happy?
I had this conversation with Mr. Retondo last night.

My car brings me happiness.
The fact I keep myself busy,
fixing it up.
Getting my goals done myself,
being the INDEPENDENT ($$)
Person I always wanted to be.

Buy my own $hit cause it's legal.
Think about myself, cause I can.
Go out with guys & no one caring.
Talk to who I like cause I'm $ingle, bitch.
The only people I need to worry about is my parents.
I maybe lonely in the car but sometimes it's better that way.
Hardly any road rages because I'm mad.
Race when I like, Rev when I like, & what if my car aint that nice,
It's getting there!

Progress in getting sounds,
Saving for;
Headlights,
Bumper,
Lips + Skirts,
Window repairs,
When everything is on, finally for the last step..

PAINT JOB!

My blue-BABY yum yum is gonna turn into
my WHITE-snowy Prince (:
now that's my muthafckn fairytale.

Thoughts,

Has anyone ever crossed the line with you?
Shity feeling isn't it, well I think it is.

Thank You, Come Again

Reading everyones blogs, so interesting compared to mine.
My life is full of drama, just like theirs, so why do I have to vent here?
There's people out there listening to my voice, oh I need to grow up.

2k9 plans:
I definietly need to change.

I'm starting to,
I'm no longer:
Anti-social, the way I was when I was with you.
Plain old me, I'm taking the chances.
Boring-self-conscious, I'm out going, & HEY! I love bringing myself to a better life.

I'm starting to be the Lyn I knew back in 7th grade.
The one that introduced risks to Ms. Kelly Ann.
The one that didn't care that boys knew I liked them.
The one that LOVED making new friends,
no matter if their old, fake, real, boring, I never did care.
I was the Mellow one.

I tried anything I wanted,
I think I lost it all when I started hanging with the wrong people,
I got self-conscious because I couldn't be like THEM,
I got boring because I never saw myself being, Me around them,
I never took risks because they were one a higher level then I was,
I was anti-social because I just thought I couldn't make friends.

But now, the year 2009,
New friends + Old friends = BETTER ME!

I'll forget my past, It hurts me every single day,
I will admit, I wouldn't be this way if it wasn't for you,
when you left,
I realized, I need to be the person I was, because with you,
I was just a person standing in the middle of a crowd,
using something like bubbleboy's outfit,
I was so scared of people being close to me,
only reason was because of you..

Thank you.
My life offically changed,
The day I turned 17.